Argh...progress bars (or not)

So I have spent way too much time today trying to add Ravelry progress bars to my sidebar here. Even Pete tried tonight. And we have gotten nowhere, unless you count error messages as being somewhere.

Progress bars are these cute little...bars...that show how far you are on crochet (or knit, but that's not me) projects entered in Ravelry. I've got my API. I copied the code, I pasted the code in the head, I got an error message. I searched the forums for more info. I found a patch. I found the offending code. I removed it. I pasted the patch at the end as per instructed. I got an error message.

I don't have time for this. I remember back, before kids, when I actually knew my computer inside and out. When I deleted/changed code to save corrupted files. I now realize this was a good twelve years ago. How embarrassing. Now I can't even get a section of "copy this" code to work. *sigh*

And now it's jammie time, story time, bedtime, and crochet time. I can handle these.